Q. What advice would you have liked to receive when you were a new or expectant father?

I came up with quite a few answers to this question, for example:

A. Embrace Change. ("No, wait a minute, that was for something else ...")
A. Don't worry, you'll figure it out.
A. There is no handbook. Well actually, there are lots of handbooks out there but none that will have the answers you need when you need them.
A. Talk to your Parents.

I'm not sure I could have taken much comfort from any of these answers at the time, but the last one has proven to be the most useful.

So, "Talk to your Parents".

That's right, when you're stuck and at a loss as to what you should do next, talk to your Parents because they can probably help and more importantly they will want to help.

Yes, the same people "who just don't understand" are about to become "all knowing" all over again. As children, we go through a phase where we think our Parents have all the answers. It's great while it lasts but eventually, of course, we figure out that they're human after all and come with a bagful of hope and fears like everyone else, it's just that their hopes and fears are centred around us. With all the best intentions in the world they make mistakes too.

"Aha", you think as a child, "I knew they were bluffing!"

The timing of this little epiphany couldn't be worse as for most of us it happens with the onset of the "teenage years", difficult and turbulent times. There then follows a period of growth and confusion until some point much later when WE emerge "all knowing", ready to take on the world.

Now, fast forward, and if you're lucky, you meet someone, fall in love and have your own children.

And then comes the punch line.

On the day this wonderful bundle of joy arrives in the world you realise in an instant your life will never be the same again. Never have I felt my own sense of mortality so clearly, and felt so alive, than the day when my first daughter was born. And so time passes, and soon this unique little person will start to ask you questions and come to see you as "all knowing', but you won't have all the answers, just like your parents didn't have all the answers.

And they still don't have all the answers but they do have more experience than you and answers to questions that you can't yet fathom, so do yourself a favour, make it easier on yourself and "Talk to your Parents".

[grid::fatherhood]